A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do...

How is it you can be so certain about someting one minute, and then utterly confused about it the next? I was 100% sure that it was right. Now, I don't think it's right at all. I'm not just confused or unsure, I feel the opposite of what I originally felt. It has to end, but I don't know how and I have to wonder, am I just running away? Am I giving up too easily? A part of me thinks I am, but a bigger part tells me I have to do it. I don't know how though, I really don't know how.....
I have to do it. I will do it. In fact, I'll be doing it today. The thoughts of it make me sick, but I guess it's ok because I have people who care about me to look after me and help me through it. I know it's the right decision. I've weighed it all up, I've considered it from every angle and come to the conclussion that I'm not willing to settle and lose something that's a big part of what I am; not when there are people with whom such a loss isn't even a slight consideration.
Ok, it doesn't stop the horrific churning in my stomach and it is still very upsetting, but at least I know ot's the right thing to do.
I just hope it goes well.....