Saturday, January 27, 2007

Fatigued ramblings of a former insomniac. (wtf?!)

Dear God I'm knackered. I've been falling asleep since I came in from work at about half six. I haven't gone to bed though. I had intended on watching the OC but I got side tracked re-doing my bebo and emailing people etc. At least I don't have to get up in the morning, thank God. I can just sleep and sleep until I wake up naturally. Knowing my luck though I'll wake up ridiculously early at like 9 or something. It's always the way, isn't it.
I found a great poem by Emily Dickinson online today, I put it up on my bebo. I didn't credit it to her though, I think it might be funnier to see if people think it was me that wrote it because it's actually rather funny unlike some of her other dreary stuff.
Last night (with thanks to the OC) I have reached the fourth stage of grief: depression. On the one hand , that may seem very, well, depressing, and it's true it is; on the other hand there's only one more stage to go: acceptance.
Unfortunately it took me four years to reach the fifth stage with regards to my dad. I'm hoping this wont take as long. This is the hardest stage, but at least I have people around me who are watching out for me. And at least I can recognise it within myself, which I couldn't do before. So: onwards and upwards!
Sarah is going to be directing Kelly and I in a piece for one of my drama modules on Tuesday. It's a scene from Othello between Emelia and Desdemona. She hasn't told us who's playing who yet, but I'm excited for it. I'm really looking to sinking my teeth into some proper scene work. And to see Sarah direct oo, coz I haven't really seen that from her yet and as I had no desire to direct the piece myself, (neither did Kelly for that matter) it should work out grand. I wonder who I'll be. It's always interesting to see what other people see you as...
I'm posting on of Dickinson's poems on our Wall of Thought in the hall. It's the only piece of writing I've ever come across that can explain how it feels. Maybe if they read it, they might understand just a little bit better. I don't know what I'd do without them; I just hope they know that if anything were to happen to them, big or small, I'd be there without thinking.
Hmmm, the OC is beckoning.....Adam Brody.....nam.

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